 Ladies, The word from Todd Akin is out - It's that time in election season to go through your mental Rolodex of sexual assaults from the past year, and see which ones were legitimate, and which ones were 'just for laughs,' and maybe and you were being a bit over-sensitive. (Relax - can't you take a joke?) For example, if it was a date and he paid -NOT legitimate rape, Duh!
But we all know this. Bigger news to me and horny women everywhere, was Tod Akin's amazing revelation that when it comes to pregnancies resulting from rape: "the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." ....WAIT. STOP...WE HAVE CONTRACEPTION BUILT INTO OUR VAGINAS!!?!?! Why was I never informed about this!! Sex-ed - my Mom - everyone has been LYING for so long!! You know the last time things were getting hot and heavy with that guy that you're messing around with? The dumb one you boo'd up just for summer so he could drive you to the beach in Long Island, and he said he didn't want to use condoms because it messes up the feeling? Well, according to Uncle Akin, you could've said: 'No Problem [Rufus], when my vagina senses the inferior intelligence, financial irresponsibility, and poor listening skills of your semen it will grow teeth and kill you, shutting down all possibility that a pregnancy could occur from this union.' Todd Akin is a liberal freelove hippie in a stealth ninja disguise! By relieving us of a large incentive to practice abstinence, he's urging us to throw our promise rings and our general ambivalence about which bases to cover - and after how many dates - out the window, and our panties up in the air! He is demanding that we be fruitful (but don't multiply), and have as much unprotected sex as we want, with as many people as we want, forever. Because the Vagina Dentata is not a bad, C- horror film. It's science. Our vagina has internal toothed protection, which will shut down any attempts at unwanted insemination. Yippie! Logically, this must also be true in the case of diseases. Since our vagina - let's call her Fifi - Fifi is smart girl. She's an independent thinker and she has our back. She wouldn't go to all the trouble of shutting down rape pregnancy and neglect to protect us from STDs, the other downer that has thrust the burden of boring, safe sex upon us. So, next time you're assaulted or just aren't feeling like being knocked up, worry not. Your vag has got it covered. She'll bare her vaginal teeth and SHUT THAT PREGNANCY DOWN LADIES!!! SHUT.IT.DOWN.
82 Comments
8/21/2012 04:19:24 am
Great post Kelechi! But did you know there is actually a bad horror film about this, called "Teeth" (2007)? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780622/ 8/22/2012 10:28:39 pm
Hi Kelechie, 8/16/2013 04:17:39 pm
It took us three years to build the NeXT computer. If we'd given customers what they said they wanted, we'd have built a computer they'd have been happy with a year after we spoke to them - not something they'd want now. 9/28/2012 03:29:46 pm
I am sure that the informative you shared through your post is useful for people. I am impressed with the way of writing. It kept connected me all the time. Keep up the good work. 5/28/2013 11:42:24 am
Our aim is to provide exceptional real estate services, we make sure every client is completely satisfied. Whether you are buying or selling a home, condominium, or a business in mississauga, Aamir Yaqoob can get the deal done. We are proudly the experts in mississauga real estate 9/12/2013 06:46:12 pm
There is no question that instantaneous water heaters are good options to trust in terms of their water heating services. However, you need to know that not all kinds of this water heater will work best for you. 9/30/2013 03:49:11 am
Though beauty gives you a weird sense of entitlement, it's rather frightening and threatening to have others ascribe such importance to something you know you're just renting for a while. 11/7/2013 11:49:44 pm
It is a very profitable post for me. I've enjoyed reading the post. It is very informative and useful post. I would like to visit the post once more its valuable content. 6/6/2015 09:03:19 pm
We want to reinvent the phone. What's the killer app? The killer app is making calls! It's amazing how hard it is to make calls on most phones. We want to let you use contacts like never before - sync your iPhone with your PC or mac. 2/18/2014 06:51:09 pm
There is no question that instantaneous water heaters are good options to trust in terms of their water heating services. However, you need to know that not all kinds of this water heater will work best for you. 11/25/2015 12:06:21 am
The connections that you make early in your career will take you far. After 20 years it is still true for me. This has been true regarding companies I worked for and those I worked with. All you have written is excellent advice. 5/14/2015 09:18:40 pm
Great place, great time. Getting strange experienced with orphanages. I learned how to hold an excelent progam for kids, hope more activities. I became a kid on that day in my thought. 5/17/2015 11:29:28 pm
I like your all activities because children who participating in these activities will surely learn the necessary thing which helps to live healthy. 9/13/2015 03:23:52 am
Great Information sharing .. I am very happy to read this article .. thanks for giving us go through info.Fantastic nice. I appreciate this post. 8/22/2012 10:31:35 pm
Sorry, pressed submit a few too many times! Maybe you could delete the surplus posts! 9/24/2013 02:16:46 pm
I went on all over the States, ranting poems to enthusiastic audiences that, the week before, had been equally enthusiastic about lectures on Railway Development or the Modern Turkish Essay. 9/14/2012 07:52:09 am
"he didn't want to use condoms because it messes up the feeling" 10/3/2013 02:44:42 pm
Innovation has nothing to do with how many R amp&; D dollars you have. When Apple came up with the Mac, IBM was spending at least 100 times more on R & D. It's not about money. It's about the people you have, how you're led, and how much you get it. 2/17/2013 06:05:37 pm
Condoms can protect us from a variety of sexually transmitted diseases. 8/21/2013 05:36:43 am
A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. 8/27/2013 10:05:31 pm
I would like to thank you for your nicely written post, its informative and your writing style encouraged me to read it till end 6/12/2013 10:44:54 pm
Vaginal itchiness can be due to a pH imbalance in the vagina, a bladder infection, a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis, an overgrowth of bacteria in the vagina. If you are experiencing vaginal itching, and you are pregnant, there are a few actions you can take before calling your doctor. Thanks. 9/19/2013 04:41:59 pm
The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. 7/31/2013 09:21:18 pm
This is a very informative article that you have posted. The information given are a set of very interesting facts which is not out to many. I really liked going through the pages. The article is very sensible to be posted at this time of many pregnancy complications. Thanks a lot for sharing this page. 8/12/2013 09:52:46 pm
Women are always making pronouncements, I say, do what you like. 8/20/2013 02:12:32 pm
You have shared best information in your blog. I have also seen the above link which you have mentioned in above. 7/8/2014 08:29:26 pm
The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. 9/4/2013 10:28:45 pm
Does this dating service you're considering or using use a complicated patented formula to decide who you should or shouldn't date? If this is so, do they offer you this as advice or limit your options to only those they feel are right for you? It is alright for them to offer you that as advice but you might not wish to be forced into a category where your option is limited to somebody else's concept of your perfect date. 9/19/2013 06:56:59 pm
There is no inquiry that immediate water radiators are great choices to confide regarding their water warming administrations. 10/1/2013 03:46:25 pm
Frankly, we haven't analyzed this to the point that we stand firmly on that calculation. But from Edge Studio's perspective as a premier voice production and training facility, we can attest that, for many reasons, the voice over field continues to grow, and the need for voice over talent is booming. 10/5/2013 01:30:00 am
I used to be checking continuously this blog and I am inspired! Very useful info specifically the last section :) I maintain such info much. I was looking for this certain information for a long time. 10/6/2013 12:23:56 pm
Considerably, this post is really the sweetest on this notable topic. I harmonise with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your incoming updates. Saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the phenomenal clarity in your writing. I will directly grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates. Admirable work and much success in your business dealings! Please excuse my poor English as it is not my first tongue. 10/6/2013 12:24:26 pm
Aw, this was a really great post. In theory I'd like to write like this also - taking time and real effort to make a good article... but what can I say... I procrastinate alot and never seem to get something done. 10/6/2013 12:24:40 pm
What youre saying is completely true. I know that everybody must say the same thing, but I just think that you put it in a way that everyone can understand. I also love the images you put in here. They fit so well with what youre trying to say. Im sure youll reach so many people with what youve got to say. 10/7/2013 10:42:44 am
I was very encouraged to find this site. I wanted to thank you for this special read. I definitely savored every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post. 10/7/2013 10:49:03 am
I admire the valuable information you offer in your articles. I will bookmark your blog and have my children check up here often. I am quite sure they will learn lots of new stuff here than anybody else! 10/7/2013 02:00:23 pm
Finally, an issue that I am passionate about. I have looked for information of this caliber for the last several hours. Your site is greatly appreciated. 10/7/2013 02:06:35 pm
Thank you for another essential article. Where else could anyone get that kind of information in such a complete way of writing? I have a presentation incoming week, and I am on the lookout for such information. 10/7/2013 02:11:58 pm
The beauty of these blogging engines and CMS platforms is the lack of limitations and ease of manipulation that allows developers to implement rich content and 'skin' the site in such a way that with very little effort one would never notice what it is making the site tick all without limiting content and effectiveness. 10/7/2013 02:15:08 pm
This is the perfect blog for anyone who wants to know about this topic. You know so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want...HaHa). You definitely put a new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great! 10/11/2013 10:46:46 pm
I am really happy to be here because it is my first visit. I am stay tuned here for your next blog. 10/22/2013 12:43:42 pm
I like the valuable info you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here regularly. I’m quite sure I’ll learn many new stuff right here! Good luck for the next! 11/7/2013 05:15:29 pm
It’s appropriate time to have plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this submit and if I could I want to propose you couple of interesting items or tips. Maybe you may write up coming articles talking about this article. I want to read more aspects of it! 2/10/2014 06:27:41 pm
This is a nice post in an interesting line of content.Thanks for sharing this article, great way of bring this topic to discussion. 3/9/2014 12:49:26 pm
3/17/2014 09:46:42 pm
Great to know this article, i wanted to more information! 3/24/2014 05:37:31 pm
I look forward to more good articles and I think we all like to thank so many good articles, blog to share with us. 4/23/2014 06:08:01 pm
Your blog is really nice and unique also.Thanks for share. 5/16/2014 05:48:12 am
I am literally astonished that you were able to provide us with the correct information on the topic. I have been seeking this info for weeks. I've got it now, thanks to you! 6/19/2014 01:31:59 pm
This is a nice post in an interesting line of content.Thanks for sharing this article, great way of bring this topic to discussion. 7/4/2014 10:33:19 pm
I just read through the entire article of yours and it was quite good. This is a great article thanks for sharing this informative information. Its really good article i fully read this content.. 7/19/2014 11:29:28 pm
I like your website very much thanks for your share.all the imformation are useful for me,I will come again .
“Thank you, I have been searching for facts about this topic for ages and yours is the best I’ve discovered so far.At the same first, I would support a state of grace to this article illuminating. Secondly, I prefer to ask me where I can learn a lot more information about testing. 8/21/2014 09:12:53 pm
Hi my friend! I wish to say that this post is amazing, nice written and include approximately all important infos. I would like to see more posts like this, 9/28/2014 09:38:16 pm
Really great post nice work i love your work. Thanks. Keep sharing. 11/8/2014 03:25:37 pm
I feel the admin of this web page is genuinely functioning tough for his web page, for the cause that right here just about every data is quality based stuff. 1/12/2015 06:52:21 am
I just wanna thank you for sharing your information and your site or blog this is simple but nice article I’ve ever seen i like it i learn something today. 1/29/2015 11:41:03 pm
I saw many websites but I save those pages that have good information like this one. 1/30/2015 12:23:04 am
Your site is good Actually, i have seen your post and That was very informative and very entertaining for me. Thanks for posting Really Such Things. I should recommend your site to my friends. Cheers. 11/19/2015 01:23:42 am
This is a nice post in an interesting line of content.Thanks for sharing this article, great way of bring this topic to discussion. 12/23/2015 05:13:23 am
Interesting post and thanks for sharing. Some things in here I have not thought about before. Thanks for making such a cool post.
maddy alex
4/13/2016 07:31:13 am
<a href=”http://areureadingthis.blogspot.com.au/2008_10_01_archive.html”>Online betting</a> 2/9/2024 11:00:20 pm
I saw many websites but I save those pages that have good information like this one. 5/2/2024 04:28:09 am
i love this post... I enjoy rad it,,, thankss Leave a Reply. |
Archives
January 2016
Categories |
RSS Feed
